When a Friendship Has Run Its Course
For a friendship that has quietly thinned out and may be over. It helps you tell a drift from a rift, make one clear attempt before deciding, and let the thing end without turning it into a verdict on either of you.
Friendship · Relationships · Loneliness · 8 items · whenever you need it
The checklist
- Notice who has been doing the reaching — a one-sided thread is information, not an accusation.
- Ask whether this is a drift or a rift — one needs an effort and the other needs a decision.
- Make one clear invitation before you decide — vague plans let both of you off the hook.
- Stop keeping score of the silences — the tally feeds the hurt and settles nothing.
- Decide whether the ending needs saying out loud — most friendships close quietly and that is allowed.
- Let it be sad without making it a verdict — a friendship can end without either of you failing.
- Keep what it gave you, not just how it ended — good years do not stop counting because the last months were thin.
- Put the free evening toward someone current — an old friendship is easier to mourn beside a present one.
Use this checklist Free account: tick items off and keep each day's record.
How to use it
Run through it whenever you need it, honestly and without scoring yourself. A checklist is a way of noticing, not a test: an item you cannot tick is information about the day, not a verdict on you. Over a few weeks the pattern of what gets ticked and what does not says more than any single pass.
With a free Theraglee account the checklist remembers each pass, so you can look back. Without one, you can still read it here and keep your own copy.