When Anger Arrives Fast
For the moments anger lands before you have had a chance to think — a rude message, a plan wrecked, someone talking over you. It buys back the minute your body needs before you say something you cannot take back.
Anger · Anger · Grounding · 8 items · whenever you need it
The checklist
- Say nothing for sixty seconds — Nothing you say in the first minute beats what you would say later.
- Put the phone down — A reply typed in this state is a message you will be apologizing for.
- Leave the room if you can — Distance brings the volume down faster than arguing your way to calm.
- Breathe out longer than you breathe in — The long exhale is what tells your body the fight is off.
- Unclench your hands and your jaw — Anger holds on in the body, and letting go there reaches the rest of you.
- Name the line that got crossed — Anger usually means one thing: disrespect, unfairness, or being ignored.
- Decide what you actually want — An apology, a change, to be heard; aim at that rather than at winning.
- Go back to it when your hands are steady — The conversation will keep; the damage from having it now will not.
Use this checklist Free account: tick items off and keep each day's record.
How to use it
Run through it whenever you need it, honestly and without scoring yourself. A checklist is a way of noticing, not a test: an item you cannot tick is information about the day, not a verdict on you. Over a few weeks the pattern of what gets ticked and what does not says more than any single pass.
With a free Theraglee account the checklist remembers each pass, so you can look back. Without one, you can still read it here and keep your own copy.