When the Inner Critic Gets Loud
For the hours after a mistake, when the voice in your head starts summing up your whole character. It gets the accusation out where you can look at it, then tests it against what actually happened.
Self-Compassion · Self-Compassion · Self-Esteem · 8 items · whenever you need it
The checklist
- Write the sentence down word for word — On paper it reads like the accusation it is, not like the truth.
- Name the voice as a voice — “My critic is saying I am useless” puts a little air between you and it.
- Ask if you would say it to a friend — If it would be cruel out loud, it is cruel in your head too.
- Look for the actual evidence — One bad meeting is not a career, and one snapped reply is not a character.
- Ask what it is trying to protect — The critic usually believes it is keeping you from failing in public.
- Say the fair version instead — Not “I am wonderful”, just what a decent witness would say about today.
- Do one small competent thing — Action argues with the critic better than reasoning with it does.
- Tell someone what it has been saying — Said out loud to someone kind, it loses most of its size.
Use this checklist Free account: tick items off and keep each day's record.
How to use it
Run through it whenever you need it, honestly and without scoring yourself. A checklist is a way of noticing, not a test: an item you cannot tick is information about the day, not a verdict on you. Over a few weeks the pattern of what gets ticked and what does not says more than any single pass.
With a free Theraglee account the checklist remembers each pass, so you can look back. Without one, you can still read it here and keep your own copy.