Telling Your Child Something Hard
For the news you have to give a child — a separation, a death, a move, a diagnosis in the family — and the hour before you say it. It helps you decide what to tell them, keep it in their language, and leave room for whatever comes back.
Parenting · Parenting · Communication · 8 items · whenever you need it
The checklist
- Decide the one sentence they need first — children hear the first line and little else.
- Pick a time that is not bedtime or a school morning — they need somewhere to put it afterward.
- Say it in words they already use — a softened version gets misunderstood.
- Tell them plainly that it is not their fault — children assume they caused things.
- Say what will stay the same for them — the practical questions are their real worry.
- Let the silence sit without filling it — processing often looks like nothing happening.
- Answer the question asked, not the whole thing — they will come back for more in their own time.
- Tell their teacher or another adult tomorrow — a child does the rest of their day elsewhere.
Use this checklist Free account: tick items off and keep each day's record.
How to use it
Run through it whenever you need it, honestly and without scoring yourself. A checklist is a way of noticing, not a test: an item you cannot tick is information about the day, not a verdict on you. Over a few weeks the pattern of what gets ticked and what does not says more than any single pass.
With a free Theraglee account the checklist remembers each pass, so you can look back. Without one, you can still read it here and keep your own copy.