When Someone Else's Good News Stings
For the moment a friend's promotion, engagement or baby announcement lands with a thud instead of joy. It helps you let the feeling pass without acting on it, answer them like someone who cares, and look at what the sting is pointing at.
Comparison · Self-Esteem · Shame · 8 items · whenever you need it
The checklist
- Say the ugly reaction to yourself once — unspoken envy runs the show for longer.
- Send the congratulations anyway, briefly — the feeling is yours, the message is theirs.
- Wait a day before you post anything — comparison writes bad replies.
- Close the app for the rest of the evening — the feed will keep handing you more of this.
- Name what you actually want underneath it — envy points at something, usually accurately.
- Write one step toward that thing this month — wanting it is more useful aimed somewhere.
- List two things going well for you now — not to score it, just to widen the frame.
- Tell one honest person how it landed — saying it out loud takes most of the charge out.
Use this checklist Free account: tick items off and keep each day's record.
How to use it
Run through it whenever you need it, honestly and without scoring yourself. A checklist is a way of noticing, not a test: an item you cannot tick is information about the day, not a verdict on you. Over a few weeks the pattern of what gets ticked and what does not says more than any single pass.
With a free Theraglee account the checklist remembers each pass, so you can look back. Without one, you can still read it here and keep your own copy.