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Gentle Steps After a Loss
For anyone living through the days and months after someone they love has died. Each day is one small, gentle way to look after yourself, honor the person, and let others help, at whatever pace grief allows.
Grief · Grief · Loss · Self-Care · one to-do a day · you choose how many days
The first seven days
- Day 1Drink one full glass of water slowly, and let that count as looking after yourself today.
- Day 2Eat a few bites of something simple, like toast, crackers or a piece of fruit, even if you are not hungry.
- Day 3Say the name of the person you lost out loud once today, in a room by yourself or to someone who loved them too.
- Day 4If grief ever brings thoughts of not wanting to live, or feels like too much to carry alone, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time. Save the number in your phone now.
- Day 5Take a warm shower or wash your face, and let that be enough for this part of the day.
- Day 6Step outside for two minutes and breathe the outdoor air, whatever the weather is doing.
- Day 7When someone offers to help, say yes to one thing, even something small like picking up groceries.
Further into the year
The to-dos keep changing as the year goes on. A few from later in this theme:
- Day 30Step into the sunlight, if there is any, and let it warm your face for a minute.
- Day 60Tell a friend which kind of help is most useful right now: company, meals, errands or quiet.
- Day 120Rest your eyes and listen to rain, wind or birdsong for five minutes.
- Day 240Write down what the person you lost would say to you right now if they could see how you are doing.
- Day 365Say their name once more, and let it be both a goodbye for today and a hello for tomorrow.
How a challenge works
A Theraglee challenge is a theme with one small to-do for every day of a year. You choose how long yours runs, anywhere from a week to the full year, and each day you get the next to-do: something that takes a few minutes and fits inside an ordinary day. Tick it off when it is done. Nothing is scored and nothing is lost if you miss a day; the next to-do is simply waiting when you come back.
Challenges come with a free Theraglee account, which never asks for a card. Your progress stays private to you.