Home · Challenges · Themes
Loosening Old Grudges
For anyone still carrying anger about something that happened a while ago. Each day is one small step toward setting it down for your own sake, at your own pace, without having to excuse what happened or reconnect with anyone.
Relationships · Anger · Emotion Regulation · Relationships · one to-do a day · you choose how many days
The first seven days
- Day 1Write the old grudge in three sentences, then underline the one part that still stings most.
- Day 2Name the grudge you carry most often in five words or fewer, and write it on a scrap of paper.
- Day 3Notice where in your body the old anger shows up when you think of it: jaw, chest, stomach or hands.
- Day 4Count, roughly, how many times the old story crossed your mind this morning, without judging the number.
- Day 5List three grudges you are carrying, big or small, and circle the one that weighs the most today.
- Day 6Ask yourself how long you have carried this particular resentment, and write down the year it began.
- Day 7Picture the grudge as an object you carry in a bag. What does it look like, and how heavy is it?
Further into the year
The to-dos keep changing as the year goes on. A few from later in this theme:
- Day 30Sort out whether you are angry at what happened, at how it was handled afterward, or both.
- Day 60Hold a warm mug in both hands when the old hurt comes up, and let the warmth remind you that you are here now.
- Day 120Draw the grudge as a shape in one color, then draw a much bigger circle around it that stands for the rest of your life.
- Day 240Notice someone today who holds a door, lets you merge or smiles, and let that small kindness count.
- Day 365Close your notebook on the old story tonight with a simple line: "This is mine to set down, a little at a time."
How a challenge works
A Theraglee challenge is a theme with one small to-do for every day of a year. You choose how long yours runs, anywhere from a week to the full year, and each day you get the next to-do: something that takes a few minutes and fits inside an ordinary day. Tick it off when it is done. Nothing is scored and nothing is lost if you miss a day; the next to-do is simply waiting when you come back.
Challenges come with a free Theraglee account, which never asks for a card. Your progress stays private to you.