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Listening Better
For anyone who notices they are planning their reply while the other person is still talking. Each day is one small way to listen more fully, so the people around you feel heard and conversations get easier.
Communication · Communication · Relationships · one to-do a day · you choose how many days
The first seven days
- Day 1In one conversation today, wait until the other person has fully stopped talking before you say a single word.
- Day 2Notice the moment you start planning your reply while someone is still speaking. Drop the plan and come back to their next sentence.
- Day 3Ask someone at dinner what the best part of their day was, then ask one follow-up question about their answer.
- Day 4When a friend describes a problem today, reflect it back in one sentence, "So the hard part is...", before you offer anything.
- Day 5Count to three in your head after someone finishes speaking before you respond. Notice what fills the pause.
- Day 6Listen to a coworker in a meeting today and write down one thing they said, word for word, instead of your reaction to it.
- Day 7Put your phone face down and out of reach during one conversation today, and keep your eyes on the person.
Further into the year
The to-dos keep changing as the year goes on. A few from later in this theme:
- Day 30Listen to a voicemail all the way through today instead of reading the transcript.
- Day 60Ask a family member at a holiday gathering about the best year of their life, and let them tell the whole thing.
- Day 120Listen for what a coworker is not saying in a meeting, hesitation, hedging, a change of subject, and check in with them afterward.
- Day 240Listen for what a customer or client is worried about beneath their question, and speak to that.
- Day 365Write down one thing you heard today that changed your mind, even slightly, and tell the person who said it.
How a challenge works
A Theraglee challenge is a theme with one small to-do for every day of a year. You choose how long yours runs, anywhere from a week to the full year, and each day you get the next to-do: something that takes a few minutes and fits inside an ordinary day. Tick it off when it is done. Nothing is scored and nothing is lost if you miss a day; the next to-do is simply waiting when you come back.
Challenges come with a free Theraglee account, which never asks for a card. Your progress stays private to you.